neverendingfeelingofpain

Posted on Feb 23, 2010 in Uncategorized, from the heart, journaling | 5 comments

I am so tired of pain. I wake up hurting and i go to bed hurting. I hurt eating, showering, talking, singing, hugging cooper, shopping, cooking sweeping and breathing. I hurts when the sun is up and i hurt when i am not even awake. My pain is not normal either. I cannot take a tylenol and move on…i have to take a cyclobenzaprine (heavy muscle relaxer…800mg of ibuprofen and then two alive and i am able to function with out pain…….except then i am nearly passing out! so in order to be out of pain i need jon home to help when i incapacitate myself with meds or i just push through it. I am a tough woman ~ i push myself a LOT but this one hurts a bit more than i have ever felt or tolerated before. I know that God is in our lives and he is helping me to endure, i feel his presence and i feel his love helping me through the pain. But i realized something watching olympics while laying on the couch in agony ~ i have no real athletic goal in my life anymore. I am trying to heal just so that i am healed. So that cooper knows the REAL lindy growing up. I need a goal. I have started formulating my goal that i want to achieve athletically over the last weeks and am near a conclusion that i will launch soon…but until then i will push myself to do the exercises that make my allready HORRIBLE pain worse so that i may be whole again.