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swimming or drowning?
I had a dream the other night that will not get out of my mind. And i think last night, as i was breaking down sobbing at 3 in the morning i think i i finally understood it.
I was in some place that was mostly water with a bunch of buildings all interconnected by small docks, ramps and all kinds of small stepping stones and logs that were floating everywhere. The weather was really obnoxious and would pour so hard at times i could barely breath while running from one building to the other. For some reason i was supposed to go from building to building the whole night. So i would hop along a log and jump to a floating dock to another log ect… but i kept falling in. sometimes that i hit the water i would just float and then jump out…sometimes i would swim a bit…but the majority of the times in the water i would submerse completely and start to drown. I can actually remember feeling the water get into my lungs and gag my ability to get out. I remember looking around under the water thinking, “This is it, i am drowning.” I would thrash and pull and spin trying to get my head above the water. Sometimes i would get myself near the top but then the waves would pull me back down.
Then EACH time i was about to drown my mind would scream…”STOP THRASHING LINDY!!! AND GET OUT!” then i would stop! i would look around calmly with the pain in my lungs from drowning and see that i was almost touching bottom but that i was either near to a dock or the ramp ect. So then i would say to myself (after the first few near deaths under the water) “Lindy, you have survived this every time…do it again.” and push off the ground and pull myself out. i would cough a bit sometimes but usually once out of the water i would look around…realize that my lungs were just fine and head off to the building that i was heading to originally.
I dont remember what i was doing going back and forth, i don’t remember why i felt that i needed to/or was supposed to, but i never stopped. i went back and forth all night in this dream. nothing else happened, i just kept crossing, falling, drowning and then surviving.
I think that it was a visionary thing though. I feel that this was sent to me to tell me to stop thrashing in life.
I have been going through a really hard time lately emotionally. This adoption it really tolling emotionally and along with that i am trying to establish a charity and run a business and be a good mom, wife and friend and christian. I feel that i am so tired emotionally that i am drowning…or am I? I need to say no sometimes and relax. i need to breathe more and take care of me too.
sigh. drowning or swimming?
Hang in there Lindy. I will say a special prayer for you tonight and in addition I will pray that you give this emotion up to God. Surrender yourself to Him and as you know He will fill your heart and guide you in the direction of His will for you. He will help you prioritize everything weighing on your heart and give you the strength and tools you need to accomplish His will. Tomorrow is a new day, with so much to offer you. Pray, eat, sleep and know you are not alone, for God carries you and will lift you up.
you know… this dream has changed my life thus far! i really have started to interpret it towards the future! its been so nice to really apply what i have learned!