EMINEM

Posted on Oct 26, 2011 in journaling | Comments Off

Lately i am relating to a specific music more than i ever thought that i could. I have recently started shifting my life around like nobody can understand unless they either have been through this OR they love and believe me enough that they can sort of feel sympathy pains to me. Something in his extreemly black and white perspective lyrics hit my heart and push me along harder than before. I am trying to  and be as eminem does when he stands up and screams

F*you!!! Imma succeed because of your hate!

To any event i am healing…and my music envelops around me like thick black peaceful liquid therapy … i am thankful for so much now… my list keeps growing.

I wish sometimes that i could sing a song like his to the whole world..saying

look at me jerks…i win! i am living more honest and ready to be happy than you know how and it scares you. it offends you! and i dont care.

Watched a profound movie the other day called the visioneers… favorite line was “happiness is being happy.” to which all the characters were running around killing themselves because they didn’t know what to do with that bit of knowledge… i do.

It takes LIFE to love LIFE.

I use music as a source to remind myself that i can do this with out the false and fading confidence handed to me by the men chasing me or the fair-weather friends that tell me i am not worth it. I put my headphones on and sink into his words.

But you’re either getting lazy or you don’t believe in you no more
seems like your own opinion’s not one you can form
Can’t make a decision you keep questioning yourself
Second guessing and it’s almost like you’re begging for my help
like I’m your leader
your supposed to f*ing be my mentor
I can endure no more,
I demand you remember who you are
it was you who believed in me

What it take to get it through your thick skulls
As if this ain’t some bullshit
People don’t usually come back this way
From a place that was dark as I was in
Just to get to this place
Now let these words be like a switch blade to a haters rib cage
And let it be known from this day forward
I wanna just say thanks cause your hate is what gave me the strength
So let ‘em bic’s raise ’cause I came with 5′9′ but I feel like I’m 6′8″

Cause ain’t no way I’ma let you stop me from causin mayhem
When I say I’ma do somethin I do it,
I don’t give a damn what you think,
I’m doin this for me, so f the world
Feed it beans, it’s gassed up, if it thinks it’s stoppin me
I’ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I’m tearin down your balcony

And I just can’t keep living this way
So starting today, I’m breaking out of this cage
I’m standing up, I’ma face my demons
I’m manning up, I’ma hold my ground
I’ve had enough, now I’m so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now!

Love my therapy…